On grief…

- a poem about grief. a poem about me -


Grief is like an abyss
Like quicksand swallowing me up
Sometimes bit by bit
Sometimes all at once

I want to disappear in a dark cave and be quiet forever
I want to go out into the world and be the loudest I’ve ever been

At the same time

I want to do nothing
I want to do everything, now

I want to lay still
I want to dance in red shoes, for all eternity

At the same time
All at once

Black and white, white and black
Dancing, wrestling, pulling
Me
In all directions

I am here
I oscillate
I break
Open

I am alive

Now,
what?

Now.
Every-thing.